“Pleasure is always derived from something outside you, whereas joy arises from within.” – Eckhart Tolle
I attended a mini-workshop, led by Venus In Balance’s Karen Elizaga, who opened with this quote, which has stuck with me over the past month. Being someone who was categorized as an ENFJ Myers-Briggs Personality, it’s been pointed out to me that as an “extrovert” (contrary to being perceived as naturally gregarious) it means you gather your energy from that which surrounds you. THAT IS SO ME. I am very much affected by the things that go on around me, and I am also a pleasure-seeker, actively finding ways to keep my spirits lifted and my mind stimulated. It’s always great to find things that interest you and make you happy, right? But how do I feel when I don’t have that external stimuli?
My personal answer is: depends on the day. Some days, I’m on top of the world, and some days, I feel like crawling in a hole.
While reading the book Bergdorf Blondes (by Plum Sykes), I laughed out loud when the narrator described what she calls “The Fargos”. The feeling that no matter how fabulous one looked, when you looked in the mirror, you see someone who looks like they are straight out of a movie like Fargo. I totally understood that feeling. We are our own worst critics sometimes. What is it that makes one have such a distorted image of themselves?
Granted, it’s going to take more than a day to change your mindset about yourself. I know I struggle with this all the time. Karen hit the nail on the head, when she said finding your own internal spring of joy starts with “self-love”. When we love someone, we treat that person with kindness, understanding, sympathy, forgiveness, and the ability to risk anything to make that person happy. What I don’t understand is why it is so difficult to extend the same kindness to ourselves. How often do you tell yourself just how awesome you are? Do you realize your own greatness? When you look in the mirror, do you see someone you are proud of and that you would go to the ends of the earth for?
Go on and give yourself a hug today. Starting with that small gesture is a baby step to unleashing the overwhelming amount of love and happiness you are capable of not only receiving, but giving, to yourself and everyone else in your journey.
